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But if the other fellow never brought up the topic of condoms, neither did Toby. If the other man wanted to use them, that was fine with him. Again, his attitude toward condom use was passive. On the weekends when Toby stayed home, he either met men in online chat rooms for sexual hookups or went to sex parties. Toby was sexually versatile but preferred to be the top. Toby almost never made a date to see any of these men a second time. But if the other man did not bring up the topic, Toby wound up going along with whatever the other man wanted to do sexually, even if it meant having UAI. If a sexual partner initiated the use of condoms for anal sex, Toby said he felt relieved and gladly used them. He said he never discussed HIV status with the men he went home with unless the other man initiated the discussion. Toby did not seek out barebacking, but he allowed it to happen if the other man wanted to do it. At the end of the night he would usually end up going home with someone he had just met. He said it helped him lose his inhibitions and cut loose on the dance floor. Typically, during those outings, he would take MDMA (Ecstasy) and smoke marijuana. He did have a group of people with whom he would go to clubs to dance a few times a month.
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Because of his intense focus on work, Toby had not taken the time to cultivate deep friendships. His last relationship ended during his final year of graduate school, after 2 years, and he had not had another partner in almost 10 years. A successful and ambitious architect, he worked exceptionally long hours to make partner in his firm. Toby is a white, 35-year-old, HIV-negative gay man who came to see me because of depression and loneliness. Octave, The Rules of the Game, Jean Renoir, 1939 Toby, a Passive Barebacker
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Sometimes when reviewers want to put down a movie they'll say it seems like a film school project, but if these short films are typical, the kids are doing better work than the guys who run Hollywood."The terrible thing in this world is that everyone has his reasons." I noticed that several of these films identify themselves as film-school projects, at least two from USC. Saying that about any movie is a serious compliment. My only complaint about "Shaving the Castro," an extremely short documentary about a barber shop, is that it was over much too soon. "Safe Journey" is similar to "Touched" in its bittersweet bringing together of an apparently mismatched younger and older man, but there's enough originality in both films that they don't seem at all like clones. "Masturbation" is a little predictable, and not particularly original in parodying 1950s school hygiene films, but it is funny, the only one of these films that had me laughing out loud more than once. It's clever and fast-paced, and the closing credits are the best I think I've ever seen, extraordinarily creative and as much fun to watch as the film itself.
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I even enjoyed "10 Pesos" a lot some other viewers evidently found it boring and irrelevant, but I liked it. I assume, though, that he really must be older than he looked, and the story is original and delightful, particularly his encounter with the guys in drag. He's supposed to be in middle school, but he doesn't look any older than about nine. Near the other end of the age spectrum is "Burl's," in which the lead actor looks so young it made me a little uncomfortable. What some have called the "stiff" performance of the lead actor just seemed to me like the way a real person, not an actor, might really be in such a situation. Sure, "Touched" is a middle-aged gay man's fantasy that would never happen in a million years, but it's surprisingly fresh and lovely anyway, sweet, sad, and genuinely touching. But the other six movies on this DVD are gems, the most consistently good and diverse collection of short gay films I've come across in a while. (The cat torture is what bothered me, by the way, and the relentless unfunniness of everything that happened-not the fact that they were screeching queens, whom I usually like.) I fast-forwarded through the last third of that piece of garbage to see if it got any better, and it didn't. I don't deny such people's right to exist and make movies-I just don't enjoy their company. It's called "Gaydar" and it's about-and possibly by and for-screeching queens who think it's funny to torment a pet cat (over and over) until it hisses (over and over) and finally runs away (That's not the central story, by the way, but it's what I remember). The very, very bad one is the one that some people like best.